On my way to outer space, again

Because sometimes air is too heavy to move around, and because I'm still alive although life doesn't survive a vacuum. Ready to leave, again. I refill my glass tank with green dream dust 6 hours ahead of the launch window. Sometimes it's better to launch now than to wait... for nothing. Gravity gets a little heavier with each launch, but who's counting?
10
9
Autopilot on, no longer in control of this ride. "How's that different from any other day?" The month-old hair in my bathroom sink asks. I answer, "Reality is a man-made construct. I escape, therefore I am." Because a mirror is not enough to exist, and because sometimes air is too heavy to move around.
8
7
What's on the menu today? Whatever it is, I hope it fits in my travel bag of souvenirs. I remember the wonder of tasting 2 extremes simultaneously as I wandered the cozy streets of Tokyo; a seemingly impossible combination of the soothing familiarity of an old friend, and the intense ecstasy of novel encounters. Both melting together and taking over me... because Montreal is too cold, and because Istanbul is too far.
6
5
What sandcastle world will I visit today? I remember how an elusive concept, such as womanhood itself, materialized within me. I never thought I could miss my sister, my friend, and my ex all in the same breath... because 2017 doesn't feel real anymore, and because sometimes the space-time continuum gets stuck on repeat.
4
3
Who will be my guide today? I wish Mr Ghibli had stayed with me a little longer, but he's already given me everything he has. I remember the minimalistic beauty of dissolving into a one-hour-and-forty-minute painting. I know dopamine doesn't solve any problems, but neither does cortisol... because I'm not here; I'm there. And because I'm not now; I'm then.
2
1
Lift-off!
I forgot to forget my suitcase of questions at home, so they come along, nagging and tugging at my sleeve: "Why does a man change so much in 5 seconds?" and "Is intimacy an expression of free will, or is it a predetermined blackhole?" I don't know. I don't know. All I know now is that I float, therefore I am. I inhale, harder and harder, as I try to wean myself off oxygen... because sometimes air is too heavy to move around,

T-minus 10 minutes
Reaching escape velocity
Unlike the astronaut, the orbit is stable
Main engines cut off...
>
>
>
Finally, I can almost forget...
what it was like
to be alive.